Hot sauce misadventures.........

There is a time in everyone's life where they have an experience that just makes them go wow...... How could i have fucked that up, that badly.....


Well as the title states...... I had a bit of trouble. Lets start from the beginning. 


I'm part of a website called (this is not an advertisement) and they have this neat idea that every month they send a cool little box. (kind of like loot crate only less trinkets) in these boxes can be things from leather back journals and a cool fountain pen to a make your own bitters kit( used for alcoholic drinks for those who don't know..... I didn't) but anyways this months box was filled with a mortar and pestle, a neat taco rack, and a make your own hot sauce kit. I was excited it seemed interesting. That's where the trouble started. 


I bet you're reading this and thinking "i bet he like got it in his eyes after touching a pepper" or something like that. I must say its a pretty on par thought, but no you'd be wrong. 


I get the box yesterday and i'm super excited. The mortar and pestle came with this good sounding guac recipe. The taco rack..... Well is a taco rack and then i see the box for the hot sauce. Now for anyone who knows me well when i'm excited my patience fly's out the window and i tend to not think. So like a kid on Christmas i open the box and start taking all the pieces out. I have two options to do. The red mix which consisted of guajillo, chipotle, and pequin peppers. Or the green mix which was piri piri, habenero, and aneheim peppers. I figured i'd start with the red. 


I heat the pan on low, pop in the pepper mix, let it get all toasty and fragrant. I add the salt and vinegar and i boil it. Ohhhh i'm so excited. I look at the directions and it says remove from heat, cool, blend for 3-4 minutes. So i get my fancy ninja blender out. Take out the single serve cup and blender attachment and wait all of like 1 minute before i put it in the cup to blend. 


Now the thought in your heads must be "ohhhh, i get it he burned himself cuz he was impatient." And to that id say wrong again. I put it in the cup. Attach the blender part and lock it in the blender to well..... Blend. After about a minute or two i thought i should unhook the cup and shake it up a bit. Make sure everything blends together. I grab the cup....... Twist to unhook....... And KABOOM! Instead of unhooking..... The heat had built up so much that any slight turn and it just exploded. It got on the cabinets, the microwave, stove, coffee maker, floor, the front door that was about 5ish feet away from me. And the range hood over the stove. Oh and across my face, glasses, arms, clothes and the hand that was holding the cup got the brunt of it. Now ill say.... I'm ok. Nothing is burnt. It didn't get in my eyes (thank you glasses). Ill include some pictures that i remembered to take..... After some of the cleanup. 


So i yell fuck very loudly and somewhat agitated...... Try unsuccessfully again to unhook the cup resulting in a second smaller explosion...... And get it on the third. Bring to the sink...... Try to unscrew the already loose blender attachment and....... You guessed it third explosion all over the clean dishes...... You can see my day has been great so far. I run it under cold water as i wash my self off a bit. Clean the dishes. And the other mess..... Which was about a good hour of my time....... And i finally get the blender part off and readjusted..... Finish blending. I strain it and put it into some bottles. And that's done.... Now i'm thinking ok. I got this. I cant possibly screw this up again.


So i start making the green sauce. If you don't remember this pack has some hotter peppers...... Well i start to do the same thing. Heat the pan and toast the peppers..... Boil and this time i went ahhh, i'm smarter than this. I popped it in the actual blender part and popped it in the fridge. At this point though my nose is starting to run. The smell of the peppers was strong but i didn't mind it clearing my nose from allergies for a little bit. I wash the rest of the dishes as i wait. About 20 mins has gone by and now i start to notice...... My nose now burns and is still running and a bit red. Ow. But i just work through it. I pull out the sauce. Blend it. Strain it and bottle it. Whoa no hassles. Didn't explode. Awesome....... Except now my eyes are starting to burn since it is still lingering in the air. Eyes are watering. Nose is burning. I open a window. Turn the fans on and figured id take a shower and just get away from it.......

What should have taken... Like 30 minutes..... Took about 2 hours and a bit of pain. But i now have four nice homemade bottles of hot sauce. And i can say. It was a hell of a learning experience. Lets recap.

When it says let cool....... Seriously. Do it. 

When cooking very very hot peppers. Ventilate your apartment. 

Hot water from a shower........ Makes the eyes and nose burning significantly worse. 

And lastly as good as i cleaned. I'm sure i will still be finding bits anf drops of it everywhere.....